Once Upon a Time in Mexico
by aku-chanandkie-san
Summary: What would happen if a rurouni, rooster head, and a pointy eyed midget were transported to present time Mexico? First fanfic by Aku-chan and Kie-san, so please R&R! Chapters 6 and 7 are up! (As if anybody cared...)
1. Oro?

Aku-chan: Hallo! Welcome to our first fic!!   
  
Kie-san: This is something we came up with while visiting family!   
  
Aku-chan: Because we're so bored. No TV, the radio sucks, and we're tired of watching our brother play x-box.   
  
Kie-san: True, very true... Anyway, if you don't like the story, than you can mostly blame Aku-chan, she came up with almost all the ideas.  
  
Aku-chan: 'Cause I'm crazy. --chuckles silently to herself-- But Kie-san's the one that wrote it.  
  
Kie-san: Because you can't write worth azuki beans. I mean, for god's sake, you type like two words a minute! With horrible spelling! And grammar!!  
  
Aku-chan: --sticks tongue out-- Well you're ugly!  
  
Kie-san: Baka... Just skip to the fic, already...  
  
Chapter 1- Oro?  
  
Yahiko: Hey Kaoru, you need to make lunch today. Kenshin said that he was going with Sano.  
  
Megumi: Sano must've gotten Ken-san to go gambling again  
  
Kaoru gave an exasperated sigh and got up. As she was walking down the street she heard a strange whisper.  
  
Mysterious Stranger: Hey lady, wanna buy some menudo?  
  
Kaoru's eyes snapped up with mild interest. She walked slowly toward the mysterious cloaked man. He quickly jumped behind a makeshift counter and brought out a large pot and opened it to reveal a hot, red, steaming soup.  
  
Kaoru: This is interesting. Maybe Kenshin would like to try some? How much for a pot?  
  
Mysterious Stranger: 100 yen.  
  
Kaoru: --shrug-- As long as I don't have to cook.  
  
She happily paid the man and he poured some soup into a large container. She watched with curiosity.  
  
Kaoru: What is this stuff, anyways?  
  
Mysterious Stranger: Cow's stomach in broth with chili.  
  
Kaoru: --face slightly blue-- They don't have to know that...  
  
Kaoru arrived at the dojo happily proclaiming that lunch was ready. She set the container down as everyone began to sit down. Everyone examines it for a moment, unsure of what to think.  
  
Megumi: --sniffing it cautiously, thinking 'This looks familiar... reminds me of an operation...'-- I have to get back to the clinic.  
  
Megumi quickly left before Kaoru could protest.  
  
Kaoru: Oh well, more for us. Now, who wants some!?  
  
She happily served Sano, Kenshin, and Yahiko. Sano looked at it critically, Kenshin made a weak smile, and Yahiko wrinkled his nose in disguist.  
  
End of Chapter 1 


	2. Where are We?

Chapter 2- Where are we?  
  
Sano, Kenshin, and Yahiko all quickly gulped a piece when Kaoru gave them her sternest glare.  
  
Yahiko: Ugh, just slithers down your throa...  
  
All three were suddenly thrust into a portal of swirly doom! They whirled around in utter confusion. Before they could comprehend what was happening they were thrown onto a hard, steaming, ground.  
  
Kenshin:-- as Yahiko is thrown onto his stomach-- ORO?!  
  
Sano: --mutters words too vulgar to publish--  
  
Yahiko: Hmm, soft landing. --notices Kenshin-- oops.  
  
Kenshin was still recovering from the shock as Yahiko helped him up. The three Kenshin-gumi looked around in bewilderment at the strange sight. They noticed small, hard, grey, houses with flat roofs that appeared to have swinging doors. Suddenly a large, rumbling, thinga-maggiger comes thundering towards them and makes a honking sound.  
  
Sano: ONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S HERE TO SUCK OUR SOULS!!!!!!!!!! --runs away and jumps behind a nearby bush, then realizes that it's on the edge of a small creek with murky water and falls in--  
  
Kenshin: Oro?!  
  
Yahiko: Wha...?  
  
The large thundering thing speeds off leaving in a cloud of dust. Meanwhile, Sano is spitting out really disgusting water, then he passes out. A group of small children is watching him curiously.  
  
Kids: Que extrano senor. (what a weird man).  
(Kie-san: We can't add any accent marks or any of those swirly things that go over n's. So just use your imagination!)  
  
They inch closer to him. Sanosuke suddenly twitches and they all break out large sticks.  
  
Kenshin: We should get him out of there.  
  
Yahiko: Hmm... --nods his head--  
  
Yahiko keeps nodding his head until Kenshin gives him an expectant look. He sighs and goes off to help the "stupid rooster head."  
  
End of Chapter 2  
  
Kie-san: Just goes to show that you should never eat menudo. Ugh, nasty stuff...  
  
Aku-chan: --happily-- I never tried it. I made myself a hotdog last time mom made it.  
  
Kie-san: --glares at Aku-chan-- You suck... It -tastes- normal, but the feeling of it... --shudders and mutters something about rubbery slime--  
  
Aku-chan: --watches as Kie-san rocks back and forth-- Ok...  



	3. Bienvenidos a Mexico!

Chapter 3- Bienvenidos a Mexico  
  
Sano, Kenshin, and Yahiko (after they fish Sano out of the creek) walk obliviously down a dusty road, getting strange looks from people as they pass. Soon they get to a paved road.  
  
Sano: Where the heck are we, anyway?  
  
Kenshin: --sighs-- Sessha has no idea.  
  
Yahiko: Kaoru has something to do with this... It was that stupid soup she gave us...  
  
Another large thing passes them quickly.  
  
Kenshin: I have a feeling that these are not oni.  
  
Sano: --getting a crazed look-- They're just tricking you, biding time until you let your guard down...  
  
Yahiko: Don't be stupid, there are people riding in them!  
  
Sano: Who're you calling stupid, baka?!  
  
Yahiko: Tori-atama!  
  
Sano and Yahiko kick up a cloud of dust as they attempt to kill each other. A truck pulls by them and they stop. The men inside look at them questionably.  
  
Sano: You selling me a fight? --veins pop out of his forehead and he gives a vicious glare--  
  
The men: --look frightened-- Ay, que feo. Vamonos! (Jeez, he's ugly. Let's go!)  
  
They drive off hastily, leaving the group, once again, in a cloud of dust.  
  
Kenshin: --cough-- don't do that again --cough, cough--  
  
Sano: --ominously-- Oooonnnni...  
  
After much discussion (whether cars are oni or not) the three Kenshin-gumi decide to try and communicate with the locals. They sit by the road waiting for another vehicle. Another soon comes and they wave their arms frantically attempting to stop it. The vehicle comes to a stop near them and they run to the window. A family stares back at them.  
  
Kenshin: Umm, hi...? We... um... need a ride?  
  
The families' eyes get wide upon hearing the exotic Japanese. Kenshin points to the back of the truck. Grins break out and they nod their heads happily.  
  
Kenshin: Ok, let's go.  
  
Sano: NO WAY. I am NOT getting on an oni.  
  
Yahiko: WILL YOU STOP ALREADY??? YOU CAN WALK IF YOU WANT, WE'RE LEAVING!  
  
Kenshin and Yahiko hop into the back. Sanosuke lingers for a moment, then gingerly approaches. When he gets near enough, Yahiko and Kenshin quickly grab him and drag him aboard. To their amazement/ horror the back is full of chickens.  
  
Yahiko: --laughing-- Hey look! Sano's family members!  
  
Kenshin stifles a laugh, but Sanosuke (too busy rocking back and forth) doesn't notice.  
  
Yahiko: So where exactly are we going?  
  
Sano: --mutters-- To our death...  
  
Kenshin: I don't know... Maybe to a village?  
  
Yahiko: Guess we'll know soon enough.  
  
End of Chapter 3 


	4. The Village

Chapter 4- The Village  
  
Before long the vehicle stoped by a paved walk way. The three jumped out and waved at the happy family as they drive off.  
  
Yahiko: I guess we keep walking.  
  
Kenshin: Indeed...  
  
Sano: --amazed-- I'm still alive... --sniffs the air and mouth starts to water-- I smell something good!  
  
Sano walks forward as if in a daze, passing a few buildings.  
  
Kenshin: It's best not to wake a sleepwalker.  
  
They follow Sano until he finally stops in front of a small building with large windows. Sano presses his head on the glass, staring at the colorful display of food before him. He quickly runs inside and (before anyone could stop him) starts wolfing down pieces of sweet bread.  
  
Yahiko: Sano!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!! --catches a whiff of the sweet substance, and starts drooling-- GIMME SOME!  
  
Kenshin walks in just as Yahiko starts stuffing his face too.  
  
Kenshin: --as he watches the horror flick-- Oro? Sessha doesn't think this is a good idea. Hello? Guys?  
  
Minutes later, Sano and Yahiko have consumed everything on the racks, and were strewn on the ground. Kenshin and the bakers were traumatized by the crusty massacre.  
  
Kenshin: I think we should go...  
  
Sano: Right behind you... Kenshin... --collapses--  
  
Yahiko: Soooo good... --collapses too--  
  
A baker lady comes up to Kenshin.  
  
Baker lady: Son tus amigos? (Are they your friends) --points at Sano and Yahiko--  
  
Kenshin:-- nods anxiously and mutters-- oro...  
  
Baker lady: Como vas a pagar? (How're you gonna pay?)  
  
Kenshin looks on cluelessly. The lady stretches out her palm and points at it with her other hand.  
  
Kenshin: --suddenly realizes what she's trying to say, waves his hands in front of him-- I don't have very much money!  
  
The baker lady looks frustrated, so Kenshin takes out his wallet. He hands her some yen.  
  
Baker Lady: Esto no es dinero! (this isn't money!) --shoves it back at him--  
  
Kenshin: --suddenly happy-- Oh, okay! --starts to leave--  
  
The baker lady is suddenly infuriated. She grabs him by his pony tail and starts yelling at him in Spanish. Sano and Yahiko get up from their floury slumber.  
  
Sano: What's going on?  
  
Kenshin: --extremely worried-- We can't pay!  
  
Yahiko: I have some yen on me, I think... --searches his clothes--  
  
Kenshin: She doesn't want yen!  
  
Yahiko: Oh, shi...  
  
A while later Yahiko, Kenshin, and Sanosuke were scrubbing trays. The baker lady guarded over them imperiously.  
  
Yahiko: I feel like I'm at the dojo...  
  
Hours later, after they had mopped the floors, stoked the ovens, and set out more bread, the Kenshin-gumi emerged into the dark night.  
  
Sano: Sooo tired...  
  
Yahiko: My arms...  
  
Kenshin: Oro-ro...  
  
Sano: I'm hungry... Need more... bread...  
  
Kenshin and Yahiko look at him fiercely.  
  
Kenshin, Yahiko: NO!  
  
Sano: --slightly startled-- Sheesh...  
  
Kenshin: We should find a place to sleep...  
  
They wander around for another hour, trying to scope out a good shelter, and finally settle on a cardboard box.  
  
Kenshin: I don't think we'll all fit in here...  
  
Sano: Oh well, someone's gonna have to sleep outside.  
  
Yahiko and Sano both looked at Kenshin wearily (oro!?).  
  
Kenshin: --settling down outside while Sano and Yahiko snore loudly in the box-- Poor Sessha...  
  
However, he was soon asleep, exhausted from the day.  
  
A young man wanders the night, looking for a good score. He passes and alley and notices a man sleeping by the wall. When he took a closer look, he saw that the man was holding what looked like... a sword?! Deciding that this was worth his time, he inches closer to the sleeping rurouni. He slowly reaches out his hand, and gently grips the sakabatou. Just as he was about to pull it away, the red head opens his eyes. The man stares straight into a pair of narrowed amber eyes. He may have imagined it, but he swore he heard a hiss.  
  
Battousai: What do you think you're doing?  
  
The man froze at the cold hard voice and quickly got up. The red head followed, and slowly drew his sword.  
  
Battousai: Do you really want this?  
  
Meanwhile, Sanosuke woke from a very good dream (involving food and sake, of course) and noticed Kenshin. He quickly woke Yahiko.  
  
Yahiko: --sleepily-- nnnnggggg...  
  
Sano: --shaking Yahiko-- wake up, shorty.  
  
Yahiko: --still sleepy-- nnnnggggg....  
  
Sano: --now frustrated-- Hey, Yahiko-chan!  
  
Yahiko: --suddenly awake-- Don't call me chan!!  
  
Yahiko notices Kenshin as he slowly flips his sword.  
  
Yahiko: Kenshin, what're you doing?  
  
Battousai: Getting rid of scum.  
  
The petty thief was still frozen in place, trembling fiercely.  
  
Sano: Hm, he's gone battousai. I hate doing this... --Imitating Kaoru's voice-- Kenshin, NOOOOO!  
  
Kenshin: Kaoru-dono!! --run's over to Sano-- Kaoru-dono, are you allright!?  
  
Sanosuke knuckles Kenshin on the head.  
  
Kenshin: --suddenly snaps back to reality as a large bump appears on his head-- Oh, it's you Sano!  
  
Sano looks up to where the thief was, to see that he was gone.  
  
Sano: Oh well, that's over. --Stretches and yawns-- Ahh, my box... --settles back down and goes to sleep--  
  
Kenshin: Oro?  
  
Yahiko: Whatever. --also settles down and goes to sleep--  
  
Kenshin watches as they both begin to snore, dreading the thought of sleeping on the cold ground.  
  
Kenshin: --pokes Yahiko-- Yahiko, wanna trade?  
  
Yahiko: --half asleep-- Nnnggg, ok mom...  
  
Kenshin: Good! --picks up Yahiko and puts him by the wall, then sits down next to Sano and sleeps--  
  
Yahiko: Nnnnggg... --snore--  
  
End of Chapter 4 


	5. The Market

Chapter 5- The Market  
  
Half an hour later, Kenshin automatically wakes up at sunrise.  
  
Kenshin: Ahh, time to make breakfast --gets up and realizes where he is-- Right... --sighs, then looks at the sleeping Yahiko and Sano thinking 'Perhaps I should let them sleep... nah.'-- Yahiko, Sano, wakey uppy time!!  
  
Yahiko: Nnnngg... my back... --realizes he's on the ground-- How'd I get here?  
  
Kenshin: --innocently-- I dunno! Let's go!  
  
Sano: --snore-- Another round on me!  
  
Kenshin: --sweatdrop on his head-- Sano wake up, you're not drunk, no sake here. --starts to poke him--  
  
Sano: --face becomes more and more irritated-- Nnng, bug off, Kenshin. --punches Kenshin, knocking him over swirly eyed.--  
  
Yahiko: Get up already, rooster head.  
  
After a while a cheerful Kenshin, annoyed Yahiko, and flustered Sano stepped out onto the street. They all sighed ominously.  
  
Kenshin: Let's keep walking...  
  
After a while of walking, they suddenly find themselves in the middle of a bustling market. People dashed all over, vendors exclaimed their prices, and taxi's zoomed by, honking their horns trying to get people's attention.  
  
Kenshin: --happy to be in familiar surroundings-- Ahh, maaarrkeeett... --drools slightly--  
  
Yahiko: I'm gonna go get us some breakfast --mutters-- I hope my pick pocketing skills haven't gotten rusty.  
  
Kenshin: --choosing not to hear him-- What should we do, Sano?  
  
Sano: --shrugs-- I dunno...  
  
They choose to wander around for a while, examining all the exotic fruits. Soon they reach a butcher's stall...  
  
Kenshin: --noticing a pig which had been cut in half horizontally, displaying the ribs and where most of the body parts were-- ... Sessha doesn't feel so good...  
  
Sano: I don't see why this would bother you, considering your past.  
  
Kenshin: That's exactly why it bothers me... (reminds of a certain guy Sessha got...) --turns green and passes out--  
  
Sano: Ack, Kenshin! --sighs, and slings Kenshin over his shoulder-- Wussy...  
  
Sano walks with the limp Kenshin and soon runs into Yahiko.  
  
Yahiko: Hey! Lookey what I found! --holds out some oblong, orangey yellow fruits, then notices Kenshin-- What's with him?  
  
Sano: Queasy stomach. What're those?  
  
Yahiko: No idea! Dare you to try one!  
  
Sano: No way!  
  
Yahiko: Chicken!  
  
Sano: --grabs one of the fruits-- Gimme that! --sniffs it, then bites into it, taking a large chunk out. He chews noisily-- Not bad... --spits out skin-- Don't eat that part.  
  
Yahiko: Hmm, let's use Kenshin's sakabatou to cut these open.  
  
Kenshin: --awake by now-- Oro?  
  
Soon they were enjoying the juicy fruit, sitting by the street.  
  
Kenshin: --looking mournfully at his sakabatou-- It's all sticky...  
  
Sano: --licking his fingers-- Ack, my hands are all sticky. --starts wiping his hands on Yahiko's hair--  
  
Yahiko: What the ...? --starts shouting curses at Sanosuke that are waaayy too vulgar to publish-- I'll murder you!  
  
Sano: Not in a million years, kid.  
  
Yahiko: NOT KID!!  
  
Sano: Feh. --dodges all of Yahiko's attempts to hit him with his shinai--  
  
Kenshin: Oh dear...  
  
End of Chapter 5  
  
Kie-san: Mmm, mango's...  
  
Aku-chan: So, how do ye like it so far!  
  
Kie-san: Bet they hate it, considering who came up with it...  
  
Aku-chan: Yeah, well, you ugly! Why do I have to be -chan- anyway!  
  
Kie-san: You're younger, I'm older. The laws of the universe, grasshopper.  
  
Aku-chan: Why do they always say "grasshopper" anyway??  
  
Kie-san: No idea. Anyway, we'll have the next chapter up soon (I think).  
  
Aku-chan: Mata ne!  



	6. Sessha's Famous!

Chapter 6  
  
Kie-san: Hello again! And welcome to another (horrible) chapter of Once Upon a Time in Mexico!  
  
Aku-chan: We just got back to the U.S., ahhh... home.  
  
Kie-san: We're posting this chapter in the hopes of catching anyone's attention. Can't you people leave a review or something to show that you at least read the first few sentences???  
  
Aku-chan: Pretty please? With sugar lumps on top??  
  
Kie-san: ANYway, I noticed that on the last few --cough-- five --cough-- chapters we forgot to put the disclaimer, so here it is:  
  
WE DO NOT OWN RUROUNI KENSHIN (or Mexico, for that matter...)  
  
So quit with the creepy phone calls!  
  
Aku-chan: What phone calls?  
  
Kie-san: Someone's been calling... late at night... on the other side, I can hear heavy breathing... and someone saying "oro..." --stares into space wide eyed--  
  
Aku-chan: Hmm, didn't notice.  
  
Kie-san: --facefaults out of her wide eyed trance--My god! You sleep through everything, don't you??  
  
Aku-chan: --responds cheerfully--Yep, anything but our brother's snoring.  
  
Kie-san: --stifles a laugh--Yeah, you'd have to be deaf to sleep through that.  
  
Aku-chan: --also stifles a laugh-- Or dead!  
  
Both authoresses burst out laughing, and keep laughing until they realize that said brother is hovering over them, a manic glint in his eyes.  
  
Kie-san: --nervous laugh-- Hi, onee-sama...  
  
Aku-chan: --gulps-- What's up?  
  
Chapter 6- Sessha's famous!  
  
After a while Yahiko and Sano had finally worn themselves out, and were sitting exhausted on the sidewalk.  
  
Sano: Man, it's hot...  
  
Kenshin: --sweating-- Indeed.  
  
Yahiko: Hey, how 'bout we go in there? --points at a large, one story building--  
  
Sano: --panting-- Anything to get out of this heat...  
  
Minutes later they were standing in the large building, which was actually a lot of stalls put together. They watched as parents pulled children away from toy stalls and teenagers shopped for clothes.  
  
Kenshin: Another market?  
  
Yahiko: Ah, well, at least it's cool...  
  
They stop in front of an electronics booth... and stared wide eyed at the television.  
  
Kenshin: Moving pictures??  
  
Yahiko: Cool... oooooh... the colors...  
  
Sano: Pictures?? Cameras?? --jumps in front of the staring Yahiko and Kenshin-- Do not look! Shield your eyes from the instrument of the devil!!  
  
Yahiko: What the heck are you spouting now?  
  
Sanosuke looks at the TV, and stares at it as if in a trance. Yahiko waves his hand in front of Sano's face.  
  
Sano: --wakes up-- YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! --runs away screaming like a little girl--  
  
Yahiko: Oh, man... not again  
  
Kenshin: Indeed --sighs-- Let's split up and look for him.  
  
Yahiko and Kenshin split up and start searching for the frantic rooster.  
  
Yahiko: --mutters to himself-- Stupid rooster head should be around here somewhere --hears yelling and follows it--  
  
Yahiko enters a large area, full of strange boxes that had more moving pictures. Children were playing with sticks that came out of the boxes, and pressed colorful buttons. Sanosuke was running through them as if all hell had broken loose.  
  
Sano: YEAAAA!!--looks frantically at all the arcade games around him-- They're surrounding us!! RUN!!-- runs right into a group of kids, and falls swirly eyed to the ground, little arcade games float around his head cheerfully--  
  
Yahiko: --sighs and grabs the beaten fight merchant by the feet and drags him away-- Why me??  
  
Yahiko drags Sanosuke through half of the flea market, until he walks down some steps and involuntarily wakes the slumbering piece of poultry. After more yelling, cursing, and threats they finally agree to go search for the missing rurouni. They find him in front of a stall of clothes, staring wide eyed at something hanging on the wall.  
  
Kenshin: Oooh... --notices Sanosuke and Yahiko coming towards him-- Look! Sessha's famous!  
  
Kenshin points to the wall, where two t-shirts were hanging. One had a semi- battousai Kenshin posing with his sword, and another had Sano looking cool while cracking his knuckles menacingly.  
  
Sano: That's it... they managed to take part of our souls... now we'll die when we're thirty...  
  
Kenshin: --looks worried-- Sessha's almost thirty...  
  
The guys don't notice the store owner, looking frantically at Kenshin and Sanosuke, then at the shirts, then back again.  
  
Store owner: Que...?? Como...?? Que esta pasando?? (What...? How...? What's happening?)  
  
Yahiko: Why aren't I on a gi?  
  
Sano: --now shivering-- You got lucky, kid.  
  
Yahiko: You're so pathetic. You think everything's gonna suck out your soul.  
  
Sano: --eye gives an involuntary twitch-- Well, IT'S TRUE!!  
  
Yahiko: Ba... --Kenshin puts his hand over Yahiko's mouth so the last part is muffled-- ...ka..  
  
Kenshin: Let's not fight any more...  
  
Yahiko: We should get outta here before Sano faints again. --Sano's too busy fidgeting to notice--  
  
The three vagabonds leave the flea market and sit down on the side of the road, exhausted from their adventure.  
  
End of Chapter Six  
  
Authoresses are bound in ropes, hanging upside down from a tree above a river.  
  
Kie-san: --looks traumatized-- Scarier than Jine...  
  
Aku-chan: Speaking of which...  
  
Jine is seen whooshing down the river on a little boat holding Kenshin's laundry basket above his head triumphantly.  
  
Jine: Uhu huh hu...! Get mad, Battousai, get mad!! --laughs maniacally to himself--  
  
Jine is too busy laughing evilly to notice an upcoming bridge. He whacks his head on the bottom part and falls out of the boat and drops the tub.  
  
Jine: --squawking-- Help! Help! I can't --gurgle-- swim!!  
  
Kenshin: --suddenly appearing-- NOoooOOO!! My precioussssssssssss!! --jumps into the river and doggy paddles towards his bucket. He grabs hold of it and jumps in-- TO THE OCEAN!!  
  
The authoresses watch in amusement as Jine and Kenshin splash/drowns on downstream.  
  
Kie-san: That was completely random...  
  
Aku-chan: Isn't Jine supposed to be dead?  
  
Kie-san: Whatever. Anyway, we could be here for a while. On to the next chapter!!  
  
Aku-chan: Blood... rushing... to head... everything's... getting... swooky...  
  
Kie-san: Right... Don't forget to leave reviews!! 


	7. DO NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING! OR ELSE!

Chapter Seven: DO NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING!! OR ELSE!!  
  
Kie-san: Well, that was an emotionally packed title. Anyway, we managed to get out of our... er... predicament.  
  
Aku-chan: I can't believe we forgot about our authoress powers!!  
  
Kie-san: Yeah, we're stupid that way... Well, I got us out of the ropes...  
  
Aku-chan: And I punished my brother... mwa ha ha!!  
  
Kie-san: Oh yeah, what -did- you do to him?  
  
Aku-chan: --laughing even more evilly-- I turned him into a hamster and sent him into the Hamtaro Universe. Mwa ha ha! I won't let him out until he screams bloody murder!  
  
Kie-san: --cringes-- Oooh, harsh (she really is evil...). Well, this is the last chapter!  
  
Aku-chan: Finally! We've been torturing them for long enough.  
  
Yahiko: I'll say...  
  
Kie-san and Aku-chan: Well, Enjoy!!  
  
Chapter 7  
  
It is mid afternoon and our heroes are wandering the streets, looking for food.  
  
Sano: --stomach growls-- FoooOOOood....  
  
Yahiko: --stomach also growling-- Man, I'd even eat Kaoru's cooking...  
  
Kenshin: --swirly eyed-- Oro-ro...  
  
The group starts crossing a wide street, hoping to get to a bakery on the other side. Suddenly, a taxi appears out of oblivion.  
  
Taxi: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!! (add ten more of those)  
  
The three baka's stared frozen into the headlights of the oncoming taxi.  
  
Yahiko: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! --shrieks like a little girl--  
  
Sano: NOOO!! FUTAE NO KIWAMI!!! --gets into position and strikes the fierce taxi. The engine flies out and lands on the bakery and blows up INTO A MILLION FIERY PIECES!! The driver just stares in disbelief-- Yahiko: FREE BREAD!!!  
  
Kenshin: I think we should go!! --grabs Yahiko and Sano before they could lunge towards the flaming sweet stuff. Sirens are heard in the distance--  
  
2 hours later  
  
The Kenshin-gumi have dodged the police, and are sitting in an alley, wallowing in their misery.  
  
Yahiko: If I ever get back home... I'll be nice to Kaoru...  
  
Sano: If I ever get home... I'll pay off my bill at the Akabeko...  
  
Kenshin: I'll... umm... do more laundry (even Sano's socks)...  
  
The three guys sigh exasperatedly. Suddenly, two men in black coats approach them.  
  
Mysterious Guy #1: Himura Kenshin, Myojin Yahiko, Sagara Sanosuke?  
  
Kenshin: Oro?  
  
Yahiko: Umm... yeah?  
  
Sano: What the --bleeeeeeeppp-- do you want?  
  
Mysterious Guy #2: We are here to return you to your time (don't get mad at us!).  
  
Mysterious Guy #1: Prepare to be neutralized.  
  
Both guys put on sunglasses and one pulls out long shiny thing and holds it up in front of them. He presses a button... and nothing happens.  
  
Mysterious guy #1: --keeps pressing button-- Darn it... Jimmy, did you remember to change the batteries??  
  
Jimmy: You were supposed to do it, Mikey!  
  
Mikey: You're so stupid! How did I end up with a partner like you??  
  
Jimmy: Hey! Mom says you can't be mean to me!!  
  
Jimmy and Mikey got into a long brawl, which only ended because Jimmy threatened to call his mommy.  
  
Mikey: JEEZ!! YOU THREE! THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN! DO NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING! OR ELSE!!  
  
Sano: --slightly annoyed-- Or else what?  
  
Mikey: --ominously-- Or else you will have to sit in a room... with a moose!!  
  
Sano: NOoooOOoo!  
  
Mikey: Mwa ha ha!! --pushes a button--  
  
Kenshin, Sanosuke, and Yahiko are suddenly in another swirly vortex of doom! They land in a heap on a dusty ground. They slowly get up to realize, that they're back at the dojo! Kaoru suddenly appears, dressed in a black kimono.  
  
Kaoru: --gasps-- YOU'RE ALIVE!! --glomps Kenshin--  
  
Kenshin: ORO?  
  
Kaoru: We all thought you were dead!!  
  
Sano: We?  
  
Kaoru leads them to the front of the dojo, where a large group of people were gathered.  
  
Megumi: He was such a good doggie... er... rooster... um... person... yeah, that's it...  
  
Saitou: NOoooOOO!! WHYYYYY!??! I MISS HIM ALREADY!!!  
  
Aoshi: --crying uncontrollably-- HIMURA!! I WAS THE ONE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU!! --dramatic music starts playing--  
  
Misao: --comforting Aoshi-- Maa, maa...  
  
Yutaro: My buddy... --gets teary eyed--  
  
Tsubame: Yay! I mean... NO!  
  
Enishi: I FORGIVE YOU, BATTOUSAI!!  
  
Hiko: Baka Deshi... --starts sobbing and shoulders start heaving-- (obviously drunk) So young! SOOO YOUNG!!  
  
Kenshin walks towards Hiko.  
  
Kenshin: Master!! --hugs Hiko-- You do care!!  
  
Hiko: AAAAAHH! His GHOST!! --runs out of the dojo screaming like freaked out school girl--  
  
Everyone stares at the three guys.  
  
Yahiko: Umm... hi...  
  
Tsubame: NOOOOoooOOOOOoOOooOOoo!!!!! Oh, I mean, MY GOODNESS! YOU'RE BACK!  
  
Enishi: Umm, I take it back...  
  
Aoshi: --poker face back on--....  
  
Saitou: Ok, umm... I'll be going now... --leaves awkwardly--  
  
Everybody starts to leave in an awkward silence, leaving the Kenshin-gumi in an even more awkward silence.  
  
Kenshin: Oro-ro...  
  
THE END!!  
  
Kie-san: Hmm, didn't see that ending coming... (kind of Invader Zimmy...) I guess that's what sleep depravation does to ya!  
  
Aku-chan: We made two chapters in one day, so CONGRATULATE US AT LEAST!!  
  
Kie-san: She means- please review!  
  
Aku-chan: Our ego's need to be inflated once in a while...  
  
Kie-san: --yawns-- Sleepy time... I hope you all at least liked some parts!!  
  
Aku-chan: --already snoring-- NNnggg.... 


End file.
